Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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