After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
