i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
