someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
