The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
