It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
