Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
