Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
