For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
