Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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