I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
