So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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