The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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