he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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