they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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