Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
