What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize