dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
