I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
