Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
