Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize