so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize