i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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