We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fuck appropriateness.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Shame - the story of my life.
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