It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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