I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
