I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
