did you get engaged???
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
