i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
