she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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