For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
