Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
