yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
