Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
