I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
