I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
