I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
