wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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