i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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