i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
