Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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