oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
