There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dick very happy bro
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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