I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No subtext here. People are naked.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
