New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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