so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
