Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
