Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
NoShamevember. You game?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
