with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize