I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
