your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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