WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
