You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
