do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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