Say something about gay babies.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
