we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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