She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
