remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
