if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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