is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Farmville is her only friend.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
this is an emotional support booty call
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
