So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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