Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
