Just fell off a train. Bad.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
