I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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