It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
