I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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