Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
