i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
