i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
