do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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