hotel room ftw
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
