There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
