Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize