Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
