why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
