Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
