I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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