how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize