She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
