Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
